Dylanesquire “The National Geographic of Band Newsletters” Late Winter/Early Spring 2002                                                                                    Upcoming Shows Friday, March 29th: Lee’s Liquor Lounge. Friday, April 12th: Walker Art Center. Saturday, April 13th: Red Carpet, St. Cloud, MN. Opening for Manplanet. Thursday, April 25th:  Loring Pasta Bar. Bus-ted? Hicks, Miller Brewing Company Clash Over St. Patrick’s Day Rides A civic-minded promotional effort has left the Miller Brewing Company with a bad hangover, thanks to a bitter dispute with Minneapolis rocker Dylan Hicks. This past St. Patrick’s Day, Miller sponsored free MTC bus rides between 4:00pm and 3:00am, hoping the complimentary public transportation would discourage drunk driving on the notoriously bibulous holiday. Posing as an inebriant, the pennywise tunesmith Hicks took advantage of Miller’s largesse, riding 14 MTC routes during the free period. Later, the outspoken entertainer bragged about his ruse to Miller marketing manager T. Simon Major, telling the transplanted Englishman that he “had mooched off the drunk bus without taking a nip” and that Major and Miller were “suckers.” Now, Miller says Hicks must pay for his “fraudulent abuse” of the Miller-funded rides to the tune of $17.50. Hicks began his gratuitous tour of the Twin Cities Sunday at 4:05pm, and traveled to several local landmarks, including the James J. Hill Museum, the Mall of America, and Porky’s. Dressed in oversized, soiled clothes, Hicks did his best to act intoxicated during the rides, putting on a performance that one MTC driver said drew heavily on Dudley Moore’s work in the hit films “Arthur” and “Arthur 2: On The Rocks.” Hicks quit drinking five years ago after an “unfortunate corkscrew mishap” and admits he studied the “Arthur” films while planning his St. Patty’s Day plot. The seemingly harmless stunt would probably have gone undetected had Hicks not phoned Major the following morning to gloat about the hoax. In response, Major fired off a letter asking for the prompt retroactive payment of the $17.50. In the same letter, Major, whose mother was killed by an Irish Republican Army sniper in 1972, seemed to reveal some lasting bitterness over his mother’s slaying, and used language which Hicks, of partially Irish stock, calls “anti-Irish.” Major wrote, “there are two kinds of Irishmen: dirty, potato-eating swill pots whose devotion to Bacchus is exceeded only by their slavish loyalty to their corrupt Catholic church, and two-bit con artists like Hicks.” Hicks says he was deeply offended by the letter. “I had to sit down with my 11-month old son, and explain to him that he will grow up in a world where fascist, limey mama’s boys like T. Simon Major are out to get him,” the still-smarting songster told Dylanesquire. In a statement issued two days after the inflammatory letter was sent, Major expressed regret for his words, saying he “never meant to disparage the Irish people or the Catholic Church.” Major added that he bears no ill will toward the Irish, citing that he acted in a summer stock production of Irish-born playwright Oscar Wilde’s “The Importance of Being Earnest” and has a friend whose first marriage was to “a cute if somewhat trampy little Catholic lass.” Hicks says he will never pay Miller, and says he has written a new song, “A Major Bummer,” that pillories Major in “no uncertain terms.” Hicks will debut the song at Lee’s Liquor Lounge on Friday, March 29th Go back to the home page Go to the previous Dylanesquire